Written June 2008.
Published June 2011
TO THE BUM WH FELL ASLEEP ON ME
To the bum who fell asleep on me on a bench in Reno
Ah yes and for those of who just went Whhhhhhaaaaaat?????? Let's restate that. To the BUM. . . . who FELL ASLEEP ON ME!!!
I swear it's like I have a sign attached to my back that says "ATTENTION ALL UNSTABLE CRAZY PEOPLE-. PLEASE FLOCK TO ME. AND BY ALL MEANS, DO SOMETHING INCREDIBLY AWKWARD OR SOCIALLY INAPPROPRIATE AND WATCH ME NOT KNOW HOW TO HANDLE IT". so heres how it all went down
So it's Saturday night. Chris and I are in Reno doing what everybody in Reno does. Loosing money in slot machines and getting free booze. I'd love to tell you the rest of what happened that night, but all I have is from what I can piece together from the pictures we took and the people who knew who we were the next day. (which made for an awkward conversation having that I had no recollection of ever meeting them). So skip ahead to the next morning.
I wake up miraculously in my hotel bed with my pajamas on, under the covers, no shoes on, and im fairly certain my teeth are even brushed. AMAZING!!! I’m thinkin I must have really tried last night. Chris wasn't so lucky and we'll leave it at that. So I feel fine. . Until I stand up and take about two steps. Then WHAM!!! Let the hangover begin. When your body begins rejecting water in it, it's not a good health sign.
We get ready for the day. Big sunglasses, hair in a ponytail, and a hat, the clear sign of a girl who is either a fugitive or really hungover. It's funny how no matter what time of day it is the scent of Reno never changes. Its in a constant state of smelling like stale booze and shame.. or maybe that was just me. I dunno.
Chris heads to the bathroom while I sit on the bench out by the casino floor. Im fairly certain my equilibrium was laying somewhere on the floor of rum bullions bar because it sure wasn't with me anymore. And im dead tired so I plop down on the bench lean my head back and am out. Next thing I know im woken up by something on the shoulder. Thinking its Chris and wondering why he is sitting so close to me I open my eyes and turn my head to see a gentlemen resting his gnarly unwashed head on my bare shoulder. Not cool! Not cool! I didn't really know what to do, I wanted to freak out. But obviously this man is crazy going around falling asleep on random girls in the middle of the day and thinking it's okay, and I really didn't want to get shanked with a broken beer bottled. So I just kind of shook a little to get him off. He put his head up and looked at me like I had just done something really rude. Then he has the audacity to look me right in the eye (well kind of. one of his eyes was lazy so he looked me right in one of my eyes and right at my nose) and said "do you have any change you can spear" No I don't have any change psycho!!!!! Or that's what I would have said if I wasn’t a total v-jay. Instead I muttered "no" and quickly walked away towards the bathrooms to find Chris. Because all this trip involved was alcohol, gambling and insane transients, I am never coming back.
(Reno round 1)
Why go back you ask? well there are a couple of reasons for this: Reason A: Because 95% of every trip depends on the company you're in. Would you rather go to Hawaii with 3 of the people you hate the most, or camping an hour outside of your town with 3 of the people you love the most? Well I hate people that I hate, and I would much rather do nothing with people that are awesome. Reason 2: Getting on a plane and going ANYWHERE is better than what I was going to be doing today otherwise. Cleaning the house is overrated. And Point number III : I want to see if that bum is still chilling outside the Fitzgerald hotel
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