Monday, August 8, 2011

10 important things I've learned this summer

1.  Sometimes you should just listen to your drunk friends and hang out with the random guys they met on the side of the road. *

2. Changing your oil every 3000 miles is less of just a "friendly suggestion" and more of a "needed maintenance"

3.  It's good to have great friends. Sometimes they cook for you, or buy you a beer, and sometimes they invite you to join them in a free trip to Hawaii.

4. Oregon only has 3 seasons: Winter, Second Winter, and construction.

5. Having acrylic nails is easy way to get out of doing a lot of things. like opening soda cans, playing a musical instrument, putting on your own jewelry, applying makeup symmetrically to both eyes, simple surgical procedures, and any other precision activity that requires the use of your fingertips.

6. CNA work sucks. I can either get paid 9.50 an hour to wipe butts or triple that to sling pasta? hmmmm. . . one leads to a future, one leads to a fat ass from everyday pasta scarfing. its an ongoing battle.

7. The sounds of childbirth are terrifying.

8.  After tallying up that I have spent over $1600 on other people's events this summer (baby showers, weddings, bachelorette parties, bridal showers, and bar mitzvahs) I learned that it's okay to say no. No. I don't think I can make it, I plan on asphyxiating myself with glitter that day**.

9. Women that wear heels everyday are either crazy or lazy. or Asian. And sometimes a combo package.

10. Buying bachelorette gifts online will save you a lot of embarrassment and having to murmur the phrase "it's not for me".


* disclaimer. I am not an idiot, but when I saw what they looked like the next day in the daylight I was pretty upset.

**Copyright: Cas Anderson on most exciting way to kill yourself

1 comment:

  1. Quite entertained with not only the first on your list but also the disclaimer ;) ps is this in no particular order?! pss I've found someone to marry purely on the fact that I'm making you my maid of honor and am going to need to be amazing! Thanks in advance, you're the best!!

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